托福写作如何避免中式英文
对很多中国托福考生来说,写作文等于“中译英”。如何把思想中的中文转化成现实中的英文是托福基础写作最关心的问题,也是学生们首要应该解决的问题。但是,在英语水平还未达到一定高度之前,考生们的英文写作通常都会受习惯的思维方式和中文句式的影响,最终写成了不土不洋的中式英语,这只能使文章语言蹩脚、冗赘,结果就是让考官们一头雾水,老师们哭笑不得。下面就通过几个典型的例句为大家讲解:在托福写作中如何有效避免中式英文。
1. 【Original】If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way.
【Revised】If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.
【解 析】Agree to say that表达中式化,只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改为the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(学校给我们提供了获取书本知识的最好方法)更为恰当,同样后面的the best surviving techniques改为the best method for acquiring common sense,加上street marks(街头智慧)给文章的托福词汇增添色彩。
2. 【Original】They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wife and daughter.
【Revised】They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.
【解 析】原句中studying education and communication的说法中式化,不符合英语的表述,应该为studying,educating themselves。除了词语表达,此句中还存在其他问题,如名词单复数的使用:不是提高他们的角色,而是提高他们自身以扮演好母亲角色。还有,女性不止一个人。很多人都在扮演母亲角色,role和mother应用复数,故将improve their role as a mother改为improve themselves in their roles as mothers;同样,为保持一致,wife和daughter也应用复数。
3. 【Original】If you can get the point of communication by watching TV, will you...?
【Revised】If one can learn about communicating from television, will you...?
【解 析】原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表达不清,让人难以理解,应该是指“从电视上学习交际”:learn about communicating from television.
4. 【Original】Environmental protection has more and more gotten the attention of the countries around the world, and the best way of environmental protection has become the focus of the debate.
【Revised】Environmental protection has drawn increasing attention of the countries around the world, and people have been debating about the best way to protect the environment。
【解 析】“受到越来越多的关注”原文用has more and more gotten the attention,是典型的中文直译,不符合英文的行文习惯,应改成has drawn increasing attention。“has become the focus of the debate”即“成为讨论的焦点”,但更地道的英文表达可以人为主语,如:...people have been debating about the best way to protect the environment。
5. 【Original】Gradually improved public awareness of environmental protection and insufficient environmental protection measures have been very difficult to reverse the trend of ecological and environmental degradation.
【Revised】Although more people have become aware of environmental problems and have taken measures to protect the environment, the trend of ecological and environmental degradation is hard to be reversed.
【解 析】原句英文脱胎于中文句式“……的措施很难逆转生态环境恶化的趋势”,但直译出来的英文却是典型的Chinglish。修改版本调整了整句话的句式,把原本过长的主语变成了状语从句,并用the trend做主句的主语,让句式更平衡,表达更西化。
在托福写作备考时,要特别注意英语表达和汉语表达的差别,不要盲目照搬中文的句式。只有多多输入优质的英语原文,并留心比较中文与英文的行文思路和表达上的差异,才能有效避免中式英文。