托福独立写作开篇常见错误分析

一般来说，开篇段落的写作可分为两大步骤：**步就是用简洁明了的句子对原题目的意思进行同义替换;第二步是提出自己的观点。这两大步骤细化起来可以概括为四句话：**句，采用同义替换的方式对原题目的意思进行更改，当然是“形变神不变”;第二句，对题目的意思进行解释;第三句，提出自己的观点;第四句，概括自己所提出观点的理由，引起下文。下面小编根据考生在托福独立写作开篇中经常出现的问题为大家做详细分析。

　　一、绕弯子

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time.

Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

　　考生回答：

With the development of science and technology, people’s living standard has been improving day by day. According to the family plan, one couple could have only one child.

So child becomes the center of the whole family. Some of them are even spoiled. Therefore, I think it is better if the young adult could live independent from their parents as soon as possible.

　　解析：

　　这个开头看似没有任何问题，但是仔细分析就会发现很多问题。首先，作者绕了个大弯才给出自己的观点。其次，观点是对原题目的抄写，改动的比较少。最后，开篇缺少引起下文的过渡句。更大的错误是这个开头更像是一个全文主要观点的一个分论点。

　　修改后：

As we all know, some young adults have the sense of independence in a special period so that they want to choose to live apart from their family, while others still choose to stay with parents in the family.

Family can provide young adults a warm bay where he or she could turn to whenever any problems arise. However, considering the sound development of the young adult both mentally and physically, I think to live independently the earlier, the better.

Independence is a lesson that each of us must face one day. The detailed reasons are listed below.

　　二、误解原意

Do you agree or disagree: Because people are busy with doing so many things, they can do few things well.

　　考生回答：

Some people may hold the view that they are able to do things well even if they are busy with doing so many things simultaneously or during a given period. Although plausible at the first glance, I disagree with the statement.

Depending on my own personal experience and personality, I firmly maintain that people can do few things well when they are busy with doing so many things. My arguments of this opinion are listed as follows.

　　解析：

　　文章**句话不是对原题目意思进行解释，而是采用采取了和原意思相反的做法来进行题目诠释;第二句表明自己对误解题目的观点;第三句话对自己的观点进行近一步的解释;第四句一个过渡性的句子。开篇内容安排倒是很好，但是作者犯了误解原题目意思的错误导致后面整个文字都做了无用功。

     修改后：When people are engaged in a large extent of work simultaneously, they will not be able to perform all of them perfectly. Just imagine how terrible it will be: too many jobs need to be done by the same person in a given time.

Once such a picture appears in my mind, I feel dizzy. To me, it is impossible to do everything well with the limited energy and many others factors.

Therefore, I agree with the statement too many things to be done at the same time cause few to be well done. The reasons are as follow.

　　修改后的**句话对原题目意思进行了很好的诠释;第二、三句话进一步解释原题目;第四句话提出自己的观点;第五句话过渡性句子引起下文。

　　以上就是考生在托福独立写作开篇时经常犯的几个错误，希望能给考生的学习带来帮助。最后，小编祝愿各位考生在托福考试中取得好成绩!